Just when you think you're doing fine....

it hits you like a ton of bricks..
Took DD to music and lo and behold, one of the ladies who was pregnant last week had had her baby. Tiny thing in the capsule. One look and I had a river flowing down my face. So I looked out the window and no one noticed. It's so hard sometimes. I was supposed to be pregnant. I was supposed to be about 34 weeks - I think, calendar is in the kitchen and I'm in the bedroom - what difference does it make anyways, I was due sometime in December so there you go..
It's not fair that I had to lose my baby. Except I didn't lose her, did I? I know exactly where she is. She's in the little marble urn on my bookcase in the lounge instead of being in my tummy, growing.
Life sucks. And some people told me, you know, God has a plan.. Yeah right! well, if their god's plan was to make me go to church and believe by taking my baby, that plan backfired. Let them bring their god in front of me and he'll feel the strength of my wrath!!
I was a good girl and took my folic acid and stuff. You'd think that would have made a difference.
And now I'm on the TTC wagon. Again. To finally get the baby I so want.
OMG so much gloom and doom and the sun is out again!! Kinda.

Anyways, had baby, lost baby, cried, feel fine, see NB baby, fall apart.
Need to put DD to bed now.