Feeling emotionally numb and drained...

Got a letter in the mail this morning, forwarded by my mum. It's a letter from the hospital in France. Poor silly old me thought is was the autopsy results and I psyched myself up before opening said letter. Needn't have really!! Turns out it wasn't the autopsy results, just a letter letting me know that it would take a minimum of 4 months after the birth (so only 2 to go then...) but up to 8 months to get the totality of the results if my child had brain damage, which was the case. So it's nice of them to keep me/us in the know. But a bit hard to go to any appointment with the specialist over there, ain't it! They even give us a number to ring to get an appointment, which, they said, would be 3 or 4 months away at the earliest but that we can make one to go talk to someone about partial results (we don't even have yet).
Just feeling empty now.

This morning DH suggested that we not tell my mum when I next get pregnant to give her a surprise when she comes over for my birthday in September. I felt like the new Tui ad! Why would I hold info that important from a person who is so important to me??? I mean, Hello!!!!???
I guess men don't have that kind of sensitivity. I miss my mum so much and she's so far away.

Got the childish/equity "discussion" with DH this morning again. Funny he keeps thinking he can't say anything to me in a sarcastic way whereas in his view I can to him. I feel the same but the other way around... He called it retaliation and equity.

Don't make me laugh!! There's no equity here, there's him feeling superior and important and putting me down and telling me off and telling me I'm acting like a 12 year old and telling me to grow up. I swear, he'll still be telling me to grow up when I'm 80!
I feel like a single mother sometimes, living with a very demanding flatmate. Or was that single mum slash housekeeper? This morning he asked if I thought that I find time in my busy day (hello sarcasm, hear me cringe) to wipe the mold on the windows. Which I haven't done. And then he emails me telling me he'll be home 7-ish cos he's going to some production at school, which apparently DD might enjoy (or so said a friend of mine) but we weren't invited. You don't invite your housekeeper to work functions.

Yes, I'm feeling down today. And it's only going to get worse. Guess who's going tramping all week end!! Ah the life of a single man... Must be freeing!

Ok, I'll sign off now cos I'm taking myself deeper in the pits...