Time flies when you're having fun

Never realised it had been that long since I last posted..
Oh well... Blame the preggie brain!!
YES! I'm pregnant (finally!). Due on my 30th birthday of all days. With my luck I'll be in labour on the day instead of having a party with my friends.. Karma or something I guess!
What's new..

• I'm still totally in love with Spike (and James Marsters...) and avidly reading all the Spuffy fanfic I can find..
• Éloïse is now a 3 year old kindy girl. I feel so unfit to be a kindy mum some days, wondering what they want from me with all their rules and idiosyncrasies (sp?) and stuff that have me stumped...
  
• I'm 14 weeks pregnant at the time of writing this, and apparently it's a boy, so took a little time to adjust (we were so sure it was a girl) and now we're struggling and fighting on boys names..
• We have another kitten, a crazy one called Poppy. I say another because we had Holly we disappeared the Thursday after Easter last year. I like Holly a lot more I have to say..
• My mum is coming in September for my bday and the baby
• My dad and stepmum and lil bro are coming for Christmas. Yay!!

Off to have my nachos now, I promise to update again soon.

Back in the waiting game

I'm on CD 30 today (day 30 of my cycle for you non EBBers).. No sign of the witch, my boobs feel really heavy and my tooth still hurts. Starting to get that pain again on my left side.. Grr... Haven't had it since I was in labour with Chloé 3 months ago. I got it with every contraction and they never managed to get rid of it.. They tried making me lie on my left side so the epidural would reach, they gave me boosts in the epidural, they gave me morphine in IV (my head was in the clouds a bit but the pain was still there). In the end, the MW made me push and that got rid of that..

Basically it sucks. It feels like someone is poking me with a very sharp object. I remember once, it felt like my left ovary had burst into flames.. Ouchie!

Chloé's rose bush the kids at school gave us when we came back is in bloom. Beautiful pink buds and lots of them. It's called My Angel. Someone else at school gave DH a rose bush, called Slice of Heaven. That one has been in bloom for a couple of weeks already. Beautiful cream roses, lots of petals.

We went out for a nice dinner at Vega for our anniversary (3rd Nov) with the voucher the kids gave us. I have yummy salmon and DH had kangaroo. We went out again last Friday at Stellar this time (across the road from Vega) and I had the best steak I've ever had in my life. Ever!

Where did the time go?

It's been a week already, I thought it was time I updated my blog. DD is asleep, been sleeping for about 2 hours. I don't trust the cover I put on her nappy, oh well we'll see when she gets up.
I did 2 loads of washing yesterday and of course it's raining today. Bl**dy Murphy!!

We did some weeding in the garden on Saturday, cut down the lavender and put some bark. Looks really good. Had friends for a BBQ, they have 4 kids and a little baby boy who's 2 months. So cute! Lots of baby around us at the moment. But I'm fine. Had a teary moment on Sunday afternoon, looked at the calendar and saw the big number on every Sunday counting down the weeks to my EDD... But I'm fine.

Went to Palmy on Friday and went to see my friend while DH was at a course. It was nice to just sit around with a cuppa while the kids played outside.

Oh I can hear DD, so better sign off!!

Time to be cheerful again

Éloïse has been using the potty for about 3 weeks now, when we're home. We went out to dinner at friends' on Friday night and forgot the potty there. She's been very very good at using the toilet since Saturday morning. I'm so proud of her!!

Feeling emotionally numb and drained...

Got a letter in the mail this morning, forwarded by my mum. It's a letter from the hospital in France. Poor silly old me thought is was the autopsy results and I psyched myself up before opening said letter. Needn't have really!! Turns out it wasn't the autopsy results, just a letter letting me know that it would take a minimum of 4 months after the birth (so only 2 to go then...) but up to 8 months to get the totality of the results if my child had brain damage, which was the case. So it's nice of them to keep me/us in the know. But a bit hard to go to any appointment with the specialist over there, ain't it! They even give us a number to ring to get an appointment, which, they said, would be 3 or 4 months away at the earliest but that we can make one to go talk to someone about partial results (we don't even have yet).
Just feeling empty now.

This morning DH suggested that we not tell my mum when I next get pregnant to give her a surprise when she comes over for my birthday in September. I felt like the new Tui ad! Why would I hold info that important from a person who is so important to me??? I mean, Hello!!!!???
I guess men don't have that kind of sensitivity. I miss my mum so much and she's so far away.

Got the childish/equity "discussion" with DH this morning again. Funny he keeps thinking he can't say anything to me in a sarcastic way whereas in his view I can to him. I feel the same but the other way around... He called it retaliation and equity.

Don't make me laugh!! There's no equity here, there's him feeling superior and important and putting me down and telling me off and telling me I'm acting like a 12 year old and telling me to grow up. I swear, he'll still be telling me to grow up when I'm 80!
I feel like a single mother sometimes, living with a very demanding flatmate. Or was that single mum slash housekeeper? This morning he asked if I thought that I find time in my busy day (hello sarcasm, hear me cringe) to wipe the mold on the windows. Which I haven't done. And then he emails me telling me he'll be home 7-ish cos he's going to some production at school, which apparently DD might enjoy (or so said a friend of mine) but we weren't invited. You don't invite your housekeeper to work functions.

Yes, I'm feeling down today. And it's only going to get worse. Guess who's going tramping all week end!! Ah the life of a single man... Must be freeing!

Ok, I'll sign off now cos I'm taking myself deeper in the pits...

Here comes the rain again..

The washing is piling up and the weather is foul. What's a girl to do?
Start with the important stuff, like DD's nappies!! Then move on to DH's work clothes. Or should that read FH.. He's been a jerk recently. I feel like a single mum with a flatmate or the hired help or the housekeeper/cook/cleaner/maid/nanny. I don't mind doing the dishes/cleaning/cooking/washing etc really, but the attitude I get is not on. He acts like I owe it to him. Just because he's out there getting paid for the work he does (and I'm not). He comes home and never gets out of teacher mode. I've given up hope of him saying to himself, oh, it's 7pm and DD is having her tea, I'll go run the bath so she can go to bed soon.
Nooooo! It's all left to me to do the cooking for us while giving DD her dinner and bath and get her to bed, while he waits for his dinner to magically appear on the table. Grr!!
It's very very windy today and raining. We painted the lounge on the week end and I got growled at that apart from the washing and a bit of dishes I don't do much around the house. Felt like leaving to his paint and ladder and walking away. But good wife that I am, I made dinner instead.
Can't wait to see the counsellor on Friday.

Sleep... What's that?

Listening to INXS while DD is having lunch and watching Blue's Clues. It's been a really slow morning because of the night I've had.
Went to bed at 10pm and grabbed Good Husband Material by Trisha Ashley and started reading while DH was looking at boats on TradeMe.
390 pages later, it was 5 o'clock in the morning and I decided to sleep a bit, mostly cos I didn't want DH to wake up at 6.30am to go to work and find me still reading!!!! Needless to say I got back straight into my book as soon as he left and I had fixed breakfast for DD.
I couldn't put it down last night anymore than I could put it down this morning. It's that good. I was in fits of giggles last night, so glad the shaking of the bed didn't wake DH! :D

It's the third book by Trisha I've read and the other two had me in fits too, and quite late in the night but I hadn't read that late for a long time (I once finished a book at 7.30am Hornet's Nest by Patricia Cornwell). Sure enough I was shattered this morning when I made my first cup of tea. I actually felt like fainting with exhaustion. But 2 cuppas with sugar soon took care of that! And Girl Guide biscuits..

My tattoo is looking really good, all the scabs have fallen off. Yay!
Right, gonna go have lunch now and then I'll think I'll have a nap while DD has hers!!
Cos it's hard to function properly on 1h30 sleep.. :S